They made me believe
make believe –
that people are benign
yet careless,
well-meaning
just awkward.
They made me believe evil
was from another realm
held at bay
by my righteousness.
No one told me
that when you carry a torch
in the woods at night
you also need
a sword and shield.
No one warned me
that light in the dark
attracts winged things
that are neither feathered
nor toothless.
I wandered longer
than the forsaken Israelites
in the relentless desert.
A half century
of invisible assailants,
stealth attacks,
and bone crushing
ambush.
Until I learned to scar over
grow armor
and snarl.
They lie
so they can hide
in plain sight
under the protected shadow
of my empathy.
They flatter me
up to a pedestal
of selfish praise
to receive my pity,
teaching me
others’ pain is real and urgent,
my own
false and insignificant.
They made me believe
that what you give out
is returned ten-fold.
But when my bank account
of kind generosity ran out,
they left me a pauper,
alone beneath falling glass
and paper.
If someone can make you believe
make believe,
you’ll believe
anything
they say –
even as their lies
take your life
away.
© S. Rinderle, March 2024
[NPD = Narcissistic Personality Disorder; = Narcissism Perpetrates Destruction; = Naivete Promotes Defeat]
